Saturday, March 21, 2009

yeah, THAT just happened

so, last night, I'm out and about, running errands, and decide to swing into the grocery store to grab a few things before rushing home to feed my family a delicious meal prepared by the good folks over at Taco-hell... it's not my fave grocery store but wth, I'm just cruising thru for a few necessities... milk, fruit, beer, margarine, beer...


I get up to the checkouts and there's only one lane open... no biggie, it's pretty quiet in there, only one custie in front of me in line. I unload my goods and step up to swipe my debit card when a dentally challenged custie, holding a bud vase with 3 red roses, cruises up and quietly asks the pimply, pubescent clerk a question:

custie: hey, are you the only one working?
clerk: what do you need?
custie: I'm looking for something but I can't find anyone to ask, are you the only one working?
clerk: no problem, I'll have someone come up and assist you.
(clerk uses intercom to ask for custie assistance at checkstand 1)
(unseen clerk uses intercom to ask clerk 1 to repeat the page)
in the meantime...
clerk: (rolls his eyes) ...so, what are you looking for?
custie: (quietly) where do you guys keep the condoms?
*me: (to myself) omg... did he just say what I thought he said?!
clerk: (apparently echoing my thoughts) I'm sorry, ....what?
custie: (voice rising) CONDOMS... where do you keep the C-O-N-D-O-M-S?
*me: (cringing and thinking:) yeah, THAT just happened
clerk: (blushing) oh, uh... they're up here (indicates a locked case in the lobby).
previously unseen clerk strolls up and asks who needs help... clerk 1 shakes his head and tells him to nevermind (his eyes throwing daggers at the dickweed who waits till now to show up). by now, the line behind me, includes at least 3 other custies...
*me: throwing my shit in my cart, ready to haul ass and trying not to bust into nervous laughter*
clerk: (not making eye contact, hands me my reciept) thank you, come again... uh, have a nice evening.
*me: (smiling and thinking to myself:) oh, hell yes, I will...


omg ...totally made my night. I'm just hoping all the trouble that whack-job custie went thru to get his condoms, paid off for him. giggity-giggity-gig-iiiiiii-ty

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