Sunday, March 22, 2009
March 22, 2009
Today is a good day to evaluate some recent developments in your life -- your mind is clear and your attitude is positive. More than ever before, you are ready to learn from past mistakes! So take stock of the wins and the losses you've had and get perspective on where you really are in life -- you are a lot further along than you had thought. You can sense the momentum building, can't you? Some exciting transformations are going to start happening soon.
kinda freaks me out how these things can parallel with what's going on in "real" life ...just a fluke??
Saturday, March 21, 2009
I get up to the checkouts and there's only one lane open... no biggie, it's pretty quiet in there, only one custie in front of me in line. I unload my goods and step up to swipe my debit card when a dentally challenged custie, holding a bud vase with 3 red roses, cruises up and quietly asks the pimply, pubescent clerk a question:
custie: hey, are you the only one working?
clerk: what do you need?
custie: I'm looking for something but I can't find anyone to ask, are you the only one working?
clerk: no problem, I'll have someone come up and assist you.
(clerk uses intercom to ask for custie assistance at checkstand 1)
(unseen clerk uses intercom to ask clerk 1 to repeat the page)
in the meantime...
clerk: (rolls his eyes) ...so, what are you looking for?
custie: (quietly) where do you guys keep the condoms?
*me: (to myself) omg... did he just say what I thought he said?!
clerk: (apparently echoing my thoughts) I'm sorry, ....what?
custie: (voice rising) CONDOMS... where do you keep the C-O-N-D-O-M-S?
*me: (cringing and thinking:) yeah, THAT just happened
clerk: (blushing) oh, uh... they're up here (indicates a locked case in the lobby).
previously unseen clerk strolls up and asks who needs help... clerk 1 shakes his head and tells him to nevermind (his eyes throwing daggers at the dickweed who waits till now to show up). by now, the line behind me, includes at least 3 other custies...
*me: throwing my shit in my cart, ready to haul ass and trying not to bust into nervous laughter*
clerk: (not making eye contact, hands me my reciept) thank you, come again... uh, have a nice evening.
*me: (smiling and thinking to myself:) oh, hell yes, I will...
omg ...totally made my night. I'm just hoping all the trouble that whack-job custie went thru to get his condoms, paid off for him. giggity-giggity-gig-iiiiiii-ty
“Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections, but instantly set about remedying them”every day begin the task anew.”
—Saint Francis de Sales (1567-1622), Roman Catholic saint
“You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.”
“I believe life is a series of near misses. A lot of what we ascribe to luck is not luck at all. It's seizing the day and accepting responsibility for your future. It's seeing what other people don't see. And pursuing that vision.”
“Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures.”
—Joseph Addison (1672-1719), essayist, dramatist
“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”
—Dolly Parton (b. 1946), country music singer, author, actor
Friday, March 20, 2009
1. getting up early (5:30am) and starting my days without mayhem & chaos: it gives me the opportunity to spend time with my hubs and I'm blown away by how much more I accomplish with that extra 90 minutes added to each day.
2. keeping up with my excersize regime: woo-hoo -it's paying off!
3. dedicating time out of each day specifically for myself: sticking with my morning workouts and ending the day with a soak in the tub just before bedtime have been awesome.
4. finally getting things done that I've been putting off forEVER: weeding crap out, cleaning/organizing -even making long overdue dr. appointments; it's good to be back on top of my game!
5. working on improving relationships and renewing friendships: working on being happy and ending my self-imposed exile from all the good things life has to offer.
Friday, March 6, 2009
I started a blog a couple of years ago, with the idea that it might be someplace to share the real me; my quirky, often immature, SOH, my true opinions on things -something "in real life" I often hold in check because I fear not being liked if my perspective doesn't jive with the popular kids. I wanted a place to bitch about things that annoy me, a place to share seemingly mundane things that, for whatever reason, make me stop and take notice - a place to post trivial accomplishments. I wanted my cyber-friends to nod at their screen saying "omg... ME TOO!". in hindsight I guess I was reaching out for the friendships and support I crave but lack the ability to manifest "in real life". actually, if I'm to be completely honest, I've never had a single relationship in my life, that's been 100% no holds barred -not that they couldn't have been that way, but I've never been willing or able to let go and open myself up to that -so, I started a blog.
nothing sinister in any of that except that once again, I stopped short at sharing the real me. I began posting right around the time my mom died. I was able to pour out my emotions -which was great but, soon after all of that, I retreated back behind my mask of worry and self doubt. the realization that the annonymity of the 'net is really a farce brought to the forefront my sense of obligation to always be nice, not rock the boat and always, above all else, avoid conflict and confrontation -because what if something I said was misinterpreted or hurt someone's feelings?! what if someone didn't like me? I was back at square one; I'd pour my thoughts out: typetypetype. read, then almost always: backspacebackspacebackspace. rewrite. think about my 'nice' factor and then either post or delete entirely. I have become a master at filtering. how the heck is it that, even with the relative annonymity of the 'net, I still can't be comfortable being me?