in a nut shell...

wow -this is exactly it ...my philosophy about life these days!

“Live life fully while you're here. Experience everything. Take care of yourself and your friends. Have fun, be crazy, be weird. Go out and screw up! You're going to anyway, so you might as well enjoy the process. Take the opportunity to learn from your mistakes: find the cause of your problem and eliminate it. Don't try to be perfect; just be an excellent example of being human.”
—Anthony Robbins (b. 1960); self-help writer, speaker


...another goodie from The Foundation for a Better Life -I LOVE finding these little nuggets of wisdom in my in box each day! :)

catharsis

it's amazing how having your life thrown into a tailspin will make you stop and take inventory of what really matters. priorities come into sharp focus and trivial things that once seemed like such a big deal suddenly disappear from the radar. my mind has been working nonstop the past week or so, thinking about why I am the way I am and why I do the things I do.

I started a blog a couple of years ago, with the idea that it might be someplace to share the real me; my quirky, often immature, SOH, my true opinions on things -something "in real life" I often hold in check because I fear not being liked if my perspective doesn't jive with the popular kids. I wanted a place to bitch about things that annoy me, a place to share seemingly mundane things that, for whatever reason, make me stop and take notice - a place to post trivial accomplishments. I wanted my cyber-friends to nod at their screen saying "omg... ME TOO!". in hindsight I guess I was reaching out for the friendships and support I crave but lack the ability to manifest "in real life". actually, if I'm to be completely honest, I've never had a single relationship in my life, that's been 100% no holds barred -not that they couldn't have been that way, but I've never been willing or able to let go and open myself up to that -so, I started a blog.

nothing sinister in any of that except that once again, I stopped short at sharing the real me. I began posting right around the time my mom died. I was able to pour out my emotions -which was great but, soon after all of that, I retreated back behind my mask of worry and self doubt. the realization that the annonymity of the 'net is really a farce brought to the forefront my sense of obligation to always be nice, not rock the boat and always, above all else, avoid conflict and confrontation -because what if something I said was misinterpreted or hurt someone's feelings?! what if someone didn't like me? I was back at square one; I'd pour my thoughts out: typetypetype. read, then almost always: backspacebackspacebackspace. rewrite. think about my 'nice' factor and then either post or delete entirely. I have become a master at filtering. how the heck is it that, even with the relative annonymity of the 'net, I still can't be comfortable being me?