Thursday, May 22, 2008

someone needs to

confiscate this chick's bedazzler -and while they're at it maybe they can let her in on the whole 'less is more' concept when it comes to the green eye shadow. dayuum!

Guinness World Record holder for the 'Most Pierced Woman', Elaine Davidson, poses for a photograph in the Royal Mile in Edinburgh, Scotland showing some of her five thousand nine hundred and twenty piercings on May 16, 2008.

lol! seriously, I can barely pull a sweater over my head without getting it snagged on an earring -I can't even begin to imagine what kind of damage this gal could do, ay-yi-yi. since I came across this picture my mind has been reeling with questions, like for instance:

* is she insane? because, if I was judging by that picture, I'd have to say 'hell yeah!'.

* how did she get started with the whole piercing thing? I mean, did she go in one day to get her belly pierced and think 'hey, that looks hawt! I'm gonna get my nipples done next!' and then the whole thing just spiraled out of control from there??

* I wonder what she looked like before she became a human pin cushion...

* I would NOT want to be stuck in line behind her going through airport security.

* can you imagine the poor chump who wakes up and sees that face on the pillow next to him each morning? it's like a nightmare that starts AFTER you wake up! -pffftt!

* I wonder if it's possible for her to sneak up on people -or do you think she jingle-jangle-jingles too much?

* I wonder what would happen if she got too close to one of those giant magnets like they have at a junkyard to pick up cars.

* they say she's got 5,920 piercings... I gotta admit I'm just a leeeetle bit curious about where they all are.

* she seems like she'd be the perfect poster girl for chronic infection.

* I know some people take their jewelry off before they go to bed -I'm guessing she's not one of them.

* I wonder how much all that stuff weighs (and does she wish she could take it all off before she goes to the dr. and has to step up on the scale?!)

* is she going to keep piercing until there's not a square inch of skin w/o a hole in it?

* why has no one done an intervention for her?

* I wonder how long it will be until the center of her tongue falls out -with all those holes in there it's got to be just a matter of time.

Monday, May 19, 2008

pretty feet are happy feet...

Please, please, please ladies if you're going to wear sandals or flip-flops out in public do us all a favor: treat yourself to a pedi or invest in some decent foot care products and take care of that bidniz at home... there's almost (notice I say almost) nothing nastier than looking at someones dried out crackly feet or nasty unkempt toenails.

I'm completely grossed out by yucky feet, and I'm hyper-conscious about showing my feet in public, so while shopping for goodies to keep my feet in tip top shape, I caved and bought one of those PedEgg gizmo's that are being advertised like crazy -you've probably seen the infomercials (look how it works on this orange yet won't pop this balloon ...yaddayaddayadda). I usually refuse to buy anything that's featured in an infomercial just on principal, because they're annoying as hell. But, my need for pretty, callous-free feet got the better of me and I am now the owner of a 'professional' PedEgg.

My first thought when I looked at this thing was "dayum, this baby looks like a cheese grater" (and really, who would want to drag one of those across their tootsies?!) so I started out cautiously (I actually even read the instructions for fear of ending up with bloody stumps where my feet used to be -lol) but it's really user friendly and I got great results -plus, I got the job done much faster than when I've used a pumice stone. I'm tellin you, the PedEgg's awesome -well, except when you have to dump out the shavings {gag} -that kinda grossed me out.

but wait there's more (you knew that was coming right?)...

-it also comes with emery pads you can attach to the bottom of the egg to smooth out any little rough spots that are left over. All this for just $9.99 (don't get me started about how pissed I was when I realized that if I had ordered it off of the stinkin infomercial I could have got not one, but TWO PedEggs AND a tube of Miracle Foot Repair all for the low, low price of only $10 *gaaah* -that'll teach me!).
Serially, it's a great little gadget that lives up to the late night spiel.

But back to me and my pretty feet... whilst strolling the aisles of the Walgreen's (and tossing things willy-nilly into my cart) I also got some of the new Sally Hansen JUST FEET Spa Foot Cream... ooooh ahhh, this stuff is heaven, it feels great and has a luuuurvely lavender scent -my favorite! Now, I don't expect that peeps are going to be trying to smell my feet, but if they did, they would be in for a treat! I also bought some sassy new nail polish- which I painted on my dot's toes last night and she deemed the color to be 'stunning'- so I guess we're set for sandal season here -how about you?

Saturday, May 17, 2008!

hey, no dumb faces. oops! your eyes were closed. okay, thats it -I'm gonna beat the next person who does 'bunny ears'! GAAAH! I must have repeated these things about 40 times while trying to take prom pics tonight -lol! but I think I finally got some good ones of Andrew with his giiiiirlfriend Casey and his buddy Kevin with his date Bree.

and one of my favorites of the night (bwwwahahaha! I totally dig this girl!)


Thursday, May 15, 2008

lactose intolerance and gastric bloating are not a laughing matter

...unless, of course, you're immature like me. ppffffftt! ;)

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Miss you Mom...

I've been feelin a little blue these past few days, thinking ahead to tomorrow -it will be my first Mother's Day without my mom. It's been 10 months since she died and almost daily I catch myself wishing I could call her to give her the scoop about Andrew's first 'real' girlfriend, or to ask about a recipe or just for advice on how to keep the nasty old earwigs out of my planters... our daily chats are definitely one of the things I miss the most. But it's not all sad stuff, I crack up when I catch myself using one of her silly sayings and think what a kick she'd get out of it and I smile each time I look out my kitchen window and see the new leaves on her memorial tree -knowing how impressed she would be with the beautiful deep burgundy of the new growth that is now gradually turning to a bright spring green as the leaves continue to grow and fill in the still small canopy. We have an abundance of birds that come to eat from the many feeders we have stationed around the yard, they love the tree and I can hardly wait untill it's branches are sturdy enough to support a feeder for them -mom would love that too.

I've finally framed the last photo I got of her -it's from last Christmas and she's sporting a festive red sweater and a great big smile. It sits on my desk, right next to my computer monitor -I get a kick out of seeing her there smiling back at me everyday. She's never far from my thoughts.

Today when I went down the road to get the mail, there was a small package waiting for me. My first thought was that it must be something for Jack or maybe it was from one of my scrapbooking buddies... but then I saw that the return address was from my Aunt June and Aunt Ruby in Tennessee. Some of you might remember that my mom lived with them the last few years of her life. I have always thought the world of each of them but I will never be able to describe how much love, respect and gratitude I have for their compassion and all the tender loving care they gave my mom -they were completely dedicated to her. They were, literally, the answer to so many prayers. After Mom died, Aunt June and Aunt Ruby took me aside and made it a point to tell me that they knew they could never take her place but they would be there for me on her behalf. {sniff}

So, fast forward to today, when I open the package and find a card and a small white box tied with a gold bow and shimmery stars.

The card read:

Dear Lisa,

The string of pearls in rememberance of the Mother gone, but not forgotten.

Love from Ruby and June.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

it's not easy being green

It might be more accurate to say, 'it's not easy finding green'. Who knew finding the right shade of paint could be so dang hard?! GAAH! It's no secret that green is my favorite color; it's the color of springtime, renewal... money! heh heh heh ...that said, I decided green would be the color for my craft room/studio/office -or as it's come to be known lately, the place I plant my fat ass and surf the web. It's true, I haven't been feeling all that crafty lately, thus the reason for the room makeover. I figure, maybe, with a fresh, clean, spunky room, inspiration will strike ~or~ at the very least, I'll have a spiffy new room to bunk in once my hubs gets fed up with my 'projects'. LOL

My search for the perfect green started out at the local paint store where I spent a good long time gathering paint chips and with my hands full of every color from 'tropical grass' to 'zippidy doo dah' (yeah thats really a color!) I flashed a smile at the paint gal and headed out the door with a promise to be back soon.

After coming home and taping several paint chips up on the wall, I thought I had a pretty good handle on what I wanted; something fresh, maybe even a little bit unexpected but not too over the top. I want the ho-hum blah ...ness to be replaced by a shot of enthusiasm, but I don't want to have to bust out the shades to enjoy it. Should be easy enough, yes? Uhm... No.

I'm no stranger to color. I've taken art classes, I know how the color wheel works -that blue and yellow make green... but this paint business -whew- it's so much more complex. There are blue-greens, yellow-greens, minty greens, pine greens, grass greens, soft greens, and the ever poplular, puke {or baby poop} greens... there are more, but I'm sure you get the picture. The first color I chose to sample was called 'Sunny Glade', a nice enough color but after a couple of days of looking at it on the wall, it looked too minty. Hmmmph. I really thought it was the one.

Meanwhile, while visiting my friend Wendall's blog (visiting/stalking, whatever! -you say potato, I say spud...) I got a look at her studio and BAM it hit me -THAT'S the green! I LOVE IT -it's perfect. So, I email and nag her and beg for all the paint details and being the soooper schweetie that she is {or maybe she was askeered that her freaky blog stalker had contacted her??} she climbed around under the stairs in her garage and came up with all the nitty gritty info for me. Happy-happy-joy-joy! She got it at Lowe's, it's made by Valspar, it's called Jalapeno Jelly ...etc. etc. etc. Well, we don't have a Lowe's within 100 miles of us but my local paint store carries Valspar so woo-hoo, I'm off to see the wizard!! No dice. Even with all the particulars, my paint gal doesn't have the right stuff to make the mix. We concluded that Lowe's probably has some exclusive colors from Valspar and, barring a 200 mile round trip, I was shit out of luck. *sigh* Back to the drawing board... I should mention also that I went to the Valspar website in hopes that I could eyeball the color on line and try to match it locally but the color they showed is NOTHING like what Wendall has -in fact she commented that if I got a can of that paint I shouldn't freak out until I saw it on the wall but what's on the website is definitely not a good representation of her paint. UGH! I'm tellin ya... paint is weird.

At some point in our "chatting" Wendall said she loves the color in her studio so much, sometimes she goes in there and wants to lick the walls -{who's the freak now?" LOL!} It doesn't surprise me though, because they're the exact same color as a granny smith apple -I'd probably be tempted to take a taste myself! ;) Soooo... with that in mind, bright and early the next morning I stopped by the grocery store and bought the yummiest granny apple I could find and headed for the paint store. The gals all got a kick out of me standing there matching paint chips up to my apple -lol! but hey, a gals got to do what a gals got to do, right?

I came home with 2 different quarts of paint -both of which are perfect matches to my granny apple. The first one, unfortunately named 'Asparagus', is a deeper green, like you see when you look down by the apple's stem, the second color, called 'Olive Garden', is a bit lighter like you'd see on the sides of the apple. I have both colors up on the wall now and it's a toss up, I like them both. The lighter color is nice, kinda mellow but fun. The darker color, is bold and fun and it's definitely different than anything I would have chosen without benefit of seeing something similar in Wendall's studio. I admit, when I saw first saw it up on my wall, my first thought was how much it looked like baby poop -you know, like when they first start eating green beans? *gag* but after a couple of coats and a couple of days of curing, it's definitely the front runner -pffftt- no pun intended!
LOL! I just realized you can see my 'inspiration' apple on my shelf!