I love you ba-ay-beeee...

I know it's been around awhile but o.m.g. -I swear I laugh me arse off each time this commercial comes on tv -the family even yells "HURRY! HURRY!! -your commercial's on!!" so I won't miss it! The 30 second version is pretty stinkin funny but I found the extended version on YouTube -it's got to be one of my all time faves! Oh, and bonus... this little ditty is practically guaranteed to be tattooed on your brain so, go ahead, give in and sing along... you know you wanna!

go speed racer! go speed racer! go speed racer, go-o-o-o-o-o-o!

...to traffic violaters school. *sigh*

cripes, I've always sorta toyed with the idea of going back to school to further my edjumacayshun but I never thought I'd be going so I could keep a stinkin speeding ticket off my otherwise spotless driving record. GAAAAH! Well, that's not really true, way back at the end of February, I actually had a premonition that something like this might happen. Sure enough, about a month later, I got pulled over on a curvy, mountainous road when Smokey clocked me going 72 mph in a, uhm, ...55 mph zone. {what can I say, the car has a mind of it's own, lol!}.



Anyway, the po-po was pretty cool (aside from the fact that he actually issued me the freaking ticket) -he only wrote me up for doing 65 mph so I'd be eligible for traffic school and could keep the ticket off my record and, most importantly, it won't jack up my insurance.

...so bright and early (8 o'stinkin clock) tomorrow morning I will be sitting in traffic violator's class, listening to the instructor expound the virtues of being a safe, courteous, law abiding driver, and counting the minutes untill the bell rings and I am free once again to hit the open road -paying close attention to the speed limit, of course.

someone needs to

confiscate this chick's bedazzler -and while they're at it maybe they can let her in on the whole 'less is more' concept when it comes to the green eye shadow. dayuum!


Guinness World Record holder for the 'Most Pierced Woman', Elaine Davidson, poses for a photograph in the Royal Mile in Edinburgh, Scotland showing some of her five thousand nine hundred and twenty piercings on May 16, 2008.
REUTERS/David Moir (BRITAIN)

lol! seriously, I can barely pull a sweater over my head without getting it snagged on an earring -I can't even begin to imagine what kind of damage this gal could do, ay-yi-yi. since I came across this picture my mind has been reeling with questions, like for instance:

* is she insane? because, if I was judging by that picture, I'd have to say 'hell yeah!'.

* how did she get started with the whole piercing thing? I mean, did she go in one day to get her belly pierced and think 'hey, that looks hawt! I'm gonna get my nipples done next!' and then the whole thing just spiraled out of control from there??

* I wonder what she looked like before she became a human pin cushion...

* I would NOT want to be stuck in line behind her going through airport security.

* can you imagine the poor chump who wakes up and sees that face on the pillow next to him each morning? it's like a nightmare that starts AFTER you wake up! -pffftt!

* I wonder if it's possible for her to sneak up on people -or do you think she jingle-jangle-jingles too much?

* I wonder what would happen if she got too close to one of those giant magnets like they have at a junkyard to pick up cars.

* they say she's got 5,920 piercings... I gotta admit I'm just a leeeetle bit curious about where they all are.

* she seems like she'd be the perfect poster girl for chronic infection.

* I know some people take their jewelry off before they go to bed -I'm guessing she's not one of them.

* I wonder how much all that stuff weighs (and does she wish she could take it all off before she goes to the dr. and has to step up on the scale?!)

* is she going to keep piercing until there's not a square inch of skin w/o a hole in it?

* why has no one done an intervention for her?

* I wonder how long it will be until the center of her tongue falls out -with all those holes in there it's got to be just a matter of time.

pretty feet are happy feet...

Please, please, please ladies if you're going to wear sandals or flip-flops out in public do us all a favor: treat yourself to a pedi or invest in some decent foot care products and take care of that bidniz at home... there's almost (notice I say almost) nothing nastier than looking at someones dried out crackly feet or nasty unkempt toenails.

I'm completely grossed out by yucky feet, and I'm hyper-conscious about showing my feet in public, so while shopping for goodies to keep my feet in tip top shape, I caved and bought one of those PedEgg gizmo's that are being advertised like crazy -you've probably seen the infomercials (look how it works on this orange yet won't pop this balloon ...yaddayaddayadda). I usually refuse to buy anything that's featured in an infomercial just on principal, because they're annoying as hell. But, my need for pretty, callous-free feet got the better of me and I am now the owner of a 'professional' PedEgg.

My first thought when I looked at this thing was "dayum, this baby looks like a cheese grater" (and really, who would want to drag one of those across their tootsies?!) so I started out cautiously (I actually even read the instructions for fear of ending up with bloody stumps where my feet used to be -lol) but it's really user friendly and I got great results -plus, I got the job done much faster than when I've used a pumice stone. I'm tellin you, the PedEgg's awesome -well, except when you have to dump out the shavings {gag} -that kinda grossed me out.

but wait there's more (you knew that was coming right?)...

-it also comes with emery pads you can attach to the bottom of the egg to smooth out any little rough spots that are left over. All this for just $9.99 (don't get me started about how pissed I was when I realized that if I had ordered it off of the stinkin infomercial I could have got not one, but TWO PedEggs AND a tube of Miracle Foot Repair all for the low, low price of only $10 *gaaah* -that'll teach me!).
Serially, it's a great little gadget that lives up to the late night spiel.

But back to me and my pretty feet... whilst strolling the aisles of the Walgreen's (and tossing things willy-nilly into my cart) I also got some of the new Sally Hansen JUST FEET Spa Foot Cream... ooooh ahhh, this stuff is heaven, it feels great and has a luuuurvely lavender scent -my favorite! Now, I don't expect that peeps are going to be trying to smell my feet, but if they did, they would be in for a treat! I also bought some sassy new nail polish- which I painted on my dot's toes last night and she deemed the color to be 'stunning'- so I guess we're set for sandal season here -how about you?

1-2-3...smile!

hey, no dumb faces. oops! your eyes were closed. okay, thats it -I'm gonna beat the next person who does 'bunny ears'! GAAAH! I must have repeated these things about 40 times while trying to take prom pics tonight -lol! but I think I finally got some good ones of Andrew with his giiiiirlfriend Casey and his buddy Kevin with his date Bree.




and one of my favorites of the night (bwwwahahaha! I totally dig this girl!)

lactose intolerance and gastric bloating are not a laughing matter

...unless, of course, you're immature like me. ppffffftt! ;)

Miss you Mom...

I've been feelin a little blue these past few days, thinking ahead to tomorrow -it will be my first Mother's Day without my mom. It's been 10 months since she died and almost daily I catch myself wishing I could call her to give her the scoop about Andrew's first 'real' girlfriend, or to ask about a recipe or just for advice on how to keep the nasty old earwigs out of my planters... our daily chats are definitely one of the things I miss the most. But it's not all sad stuff, I crack up when I catch myself using one of her silly sayings and think what a kick she'd get out of it and I smile each time I look out my kitchen window and see the new leaves on her memorial tree -knowing how impressed she would be with the beautiful deep burgundy of the new growth that is now gradually turning to a bright spring green as the leaves continue to grow and fill in the still small canopy. We have an abundance of birds that come to eat from the many feeders we have stationed around the yard, they love the tree and I can hardly wait untill it's branches are sturdy enough to support a feeder for them -mom would love that too.


I've finally framed the last photo I got of her -it's from last Christmas and she's sporting a festive red sweater and a great big smile. It sits on my desk, right next to my computer monitor -I get a kick out of seeing her there smiling back at me everyday. She's never far from my thoughts.


Today when I went down the road to get the mail, there was a small package waiting for me. My first thought was that it must be something for Jack or maybe it was from one of my scrapbooking buddies... but then I saw that the return address was from my Aunt June and Aunt Ruby in Tennessee. Some of you might remember that my mom lived with them the last few years of her life. I have always thought the world of each of them but I will never be able to describe how much love, respect and gratitude I have for their compassion and all the tender loving care they gave my mom -they were completely dedicated to her. They were, literally, the answer to so many prayers. After Mom died, Aunt June and Aunt Ruby took me aside and made it a point to tell me that they knew they could never take her place but they would be there for me on her behalf. {sniff}

So, fast forward to today, when I open the package and find a card and a small white box tied with a gold bow and shimmery stars.







The card read:


Dear Lisa,

The string of pearls in rememberance of the Mother gone, but not forgotten.

Love from Ruby and June.